The Bradford

Quick Update

2010-10-15T00:30:00.000-06:00

I am currently in bed in Reedsport,Oregon listening to my old man
snore. It's 11:17 pacific time so after midnight for what our bodys
are thinking.

I figured out how to get the Internet working on my iPhone so I
thought I would check in with all My loyal readers.

My Dad and I are on our annual roadtrip and this year we have decided
to drive up the Oregon coast. We followed the silver streak train line
through California all the way to Chico and the cut north to the
coast. Last night we stayed in Acata California. When we got to Acata
we figured we drove over 900 miles. It was quite the day.

Today we went to several beaches and also to the Redwood national and
state parks. Since I can only post one pic, when submitting on the
phone I thought I would show one with a redwood. They are so massive
it is hard to believe how big they are untill you see them in person.

We drove all the way up to Reedsport which is a little less than half
way up the coast. We are excited to make it to either Astoria or
Portland tomorrow.

That's it for now....until next time.

The Salt Flats

2010-10-14T00:03:00.000-06:00

It was really flat. And salty.

A Road Trip to Remember

2010-06-24T01:32:00.007-06:00

I wrote this as an introduction to a book I made my Dad for Christmas of 2009. The book was full of pictures and other tidbits. I also included a slide show of about a 1/4 of the the pictures that were in the book. Please enjoy.

The Journey is the Destination

By taking the road less traveled, a trip can be transformed into a journey. Instead of traveling from point A to B, you come across point Z, which in itself is worth a few bumps and bruises.

The open road calls many, and consumes more. Instead of enjoying the expedition we find the quickest passage with its many luxuries and conveniences.

Unfortunately as time passes and we get older the chance to explore the world slowly slips away. Responsibility and ‘life’ slowly suffocate out dreams. Our dreams become fantasy; a mere after thought to what we want. We forget that once we wanted to be astronauts and explorers.

When the call of wanderlust beckons however we must answer quickly and without hesitation for her sweet sirens proclamation will not last. When the call is answered we must be ready for an adventure. We must be ready for the turns, mountains, and more importantly the unexpected.

In 2009 wanderlust gave her sweet call to a Father and Son; and they answered.

Armed with a BMW 325i, a cooler of food, and a tattered map they discovered a land that they have lived in for years, but have never truly seen.

Whether racing oilrigs down an abandon highway in Wyoming, seeing the President fly off in Marine One, or interacting with the locals from Broadus, Montana the wandering was exciting and edifying.

Proof that a picture is worth a thousand words lie in these pages.

The following is the journey where a Father and Son relearned a simple maxim.

The Journey is the destination.

Bradford D. Roper, December 2009

The Journey Is The Destination from Brad Roper on Vimeo.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

Just a few thoughts on Thanksgiving 2009.

First off I can’t believe that it is almost 2010. Pretty soon we can start talking like old timers on a front porch, “I ‘member back in aught nine when….” Anyway I think times are a changin’ and that we need to enjoy the simple things.

This year I am thankful for my family. I’m thankful that my Grandma lives in Wyoming so I am able to take a mini vacation. I’m also thankful for my food and all the other typical things of the year that we always spout off year after year. This year I would like to share some of the little things I have enjoyed today.

I’m thankful for shooting guns, and having another good time with my cousin Eric. I’m thankful that the Wal-Mart was open today so we could buy some cheap coconuts, cabbage, canned yams, and cantaloupes to use as targets.

I’m thankful for the entertainment of watching a cabbage explode like bomb when I shot my 44 mag with my personal protection rounds. I’m thankful that Eric is amazing with a shotgun and that he can shoot a cantaloupe out of the air and watching it explode like an erupting volcano.

I’m thankful for shooting a shotgun just a few feet a way from a coconut and watching it practically disintegrate into a million pieces.

I’m thankful for my Grandma for letting us use her .22 that is older than both Eric and I put together, and shooting shotgun shells from 50 yards. Yes, we are that good of shots.

I’m thankful for Eric having a First-Aid Kit in his truck, so when I smashed my nail up I didn’t bleed all over the place.

I’m thankful for wining world domination at Risk. And I’m thankful for Heidi for being my personal weapon that helped me become the world dictator.

And I’m Thankful for my Grandmas great culinary skill’s that induced a quick and much needed turkey coma.

What about all of you? What are some of the little simple things, other than the normal stuff, that you all thankful for?

An Open Letter to BYU and Utah Fans

2009-11-19T15:53:00.004-07:00

Dear BYU and Utah fans,

I hate to be the one to tell you this both of your seasons ended in September. I know that this hard for you all to accept, but I think that it is time for ya’ll to realize that your quest for perfection is over. You have been playing nothing more than glorified scrimmages.

Granted you both had some tough legitimate wins over good teams, but none of that matters. You lost.

I will be the first to say that the BCS is a crock of crap but that’s the way it is. Deal with it. Cowboy up. You both lost to teams you shouldn’t have. That’s all that matters to a computer. No matter what you think or justify it, a loss is a loss. Doesn’t matter if it was by one point or thirty.

BYU just so you know the better team for the past 10 years has been Utah. This is a tough pill to swallow, but lets look at the facts. Utah has had two BCS bowls and had two undefeated seasons. BYU has had how many? Zero. Get over it. They have been the better team. Your team imploded more times than my father would like to remember.

Utah fans, you have had some good runs in the past decades, but comparing this season to the others is like the Mona Lisa to a gift shop reprint. Once again your season was over in September. Bringing up how good you were back in 2008 is nothing more than picking at a scab.

Both of you peaked early. It was a tough break. Better luck next time.

As for the Mountain West Championship, which is usually a BYU or Utah shoot out, a third party has been added; TCU. In case you haven’t noticed TCU is no longer the little brother of the conference. He has grown into a man, and is now faster and stronger than both of your teams in several ways.

I have actually heard both of you fans compare loses to TCU. Really? You both got smoked no matter how long it took or how bad the score was. It doesn’t matter if it took one quarter or four. You both lost.

I know that you are naturally made to hate it each other but lets look at this from a different perspective. Have one of those seven habit paradigm shifts.

The MWC is a conference that gets little respect on the national level. Any of the interviews with either one of the Coach’s confirm this. Just this season are some of the talking heads of the sports world recognizing that the MWC is a more legitimate conference than they have once suspected.

But really the only way that the conference can prove itself is by having teams go undefeated. Mathematically if all the right things happen, the MWC could have a shot at the National Title. This is not going to be a easy task, but with the new system in place this year, and the planets aligning it is plausible. (Read here for information about the MWC agreement with the BCS.)

Problem for you is, its not going to be BYU or Utah this year.

Ever hear the saying the enemy of your enemy is your friend? Let me please introduce you to new enemy-friend. TCU.

TCU.

Just let that roll off your tongue a few times. TCU. It doesn’t sound that bad. TCU. It’s almost soothing. TCU.

This will hurt your prideful ears just a smidge but please listen to this. Because you both lost games in September the best thing that you could have done for yourself and the MWC was to lose in spectacular fashion to TCU. (I tried to make that like a band-aid. I hope you all survived.)

TCU is the MWC’s only hope of notoriety this season incase you haven’t caught on. Thus, YOUR only hope of notoriety in the future. If TCU busts the BCS this will in turn bring respect AND much needed national attention to the MWC.

They will look and see that at one point this year BYU, Utah and TCU were all in the top ten. Which is not bad for a non-BCS school that doesn’t have the supposedly ‘tough’ schedules. They will look at the history this season and see some of the big wins on the road like Oklahoma and Louisville. Other teams are starting to think that those back woods Mountain boys can actually play some ball.

Unfortunately one of you will have at least a three-loss season and I’ll be honest, that sucks. But look at it this way. Next year after two consecutive seasons of busting the BCS ya’ll are going to get the national respect that you yearn for.

So go have your Holy War. Wear your Blue and Red proudly. Talk about the glory days. Go to a bowl game and win. And more importantly talk TCU up like the proud older brothers that you should be. Tell your friends and family, your bosses, co-workers and strangers on the street. Because if either of you want a chance to play in the title game someday you had better be cheering them on as loud and as much as possible. Think of the greater good. Think about the Conference. Unite with a Cougar or a Ute. Bust out your purple and cheer on the Horned Frogs!

Sincerely,

Bradford

Photo courtesy of KSL.

Part Two: Paranormal Squirrels of the Fourth Kind

2009-11-09T18:56:00.013-07:00

Part II: The Stunning Conclusion of

Paranormal Squirrels of the Fourth Kind

I walked with rubbery knees and roused Eric to enlist him into this new game of life or death.

As he shook the cobwebs from his head I explained the quandary that we were in. He quickly pulled his boots up and was ready for action. As he brandished his gun I was followed into the living/dining/family room. Of course like in any scary movie the other person hears nothing when they are awoken and asked to be the protector of the protagonist.

After a few tense moments he heard the mysterious noises and became convinced that I was non compos mentis. As I was unarmed I quickly looked for a weapon to protect my kinsmen and myself with. I had few options to choose from. A lawn chair, a chinese checkers board, and a hatchet. I decided to go with the lawn chair thinking that I would need a place to sit after we apprehended with the assailant. But thinking more three dimensionally I chose the hatchet.

On the count of three we burst through the single-wides front door with the force of an eight-man swat team. Feeling extra courageous I stormed out first with the hatchet in one and a flashlight in the other. I was ready to meet an onslaught of hot lead. To my surprise there was not a soul in sight. With a quick sweep of my light I turned and started to go around the trailer to check the back of the trailer thinking that the intruders had some how heard our plan of attack.

With Eric hot on my heels I turned the corner and to my utter surprise saw nothing again. As we get to the middle of the trailer where a good majority of the mischievous sounds were coming from. We stood for an instant in silence. I was feeling rather sheepish for waking Eric and charging out in the dark. But more so for making him participate in my shenanigans.

Then we saw it.

It was a blood streaked flash of gray. As this demon beast ran by me up the tree, I caught a look into its bloodthirsty eyes; I was practically placed in a trance. I wished then I had chosen the lawn chair so I could’ve collapsed in defeat to this formidable foe.

I could not believe my luck. I had just been spared by on of the most depraved, diabolical, dark creature this world has to offer. A Paranormal Squirrel of the Fourth Kind.

With a quick shake, Eric brought me back to reality and we quickly made our way back indoors. I was nearly speechless when he helped me to chair. Eric in disbelief explained what to me what happened. Some how this demon Squirrel had shown mercy on us. We were given a second chance on life.

Eric excused himself to change his shorts, while I took a deep breath for the first time in what seemed like hours.

We had survived an ordeal that few could claim. We had survived an attack by a Paranormal Squirrel of the Fourth Kind.

Few people know this about Squirrels but they are the number one threat to this world. They appear cute and cuddly but the moment you turn your back, or in my class close my eyes they will attack with the ferocity of a liger. (A liger is a mix between tiger and lion that are breed for their skills in magic.)

The next morning we were happy to be alive but we were stunned to see what was written on the door.

Like I said, these things are evil!!

As I looked through the window to make sure that the coast was for us to vacate the premises this is what I saw pressed against the window. It was the very same Squirrel that had nearly killed us the night before. Luckily I was quick on the draw and was able to take a picture.

On further investigation, while dressed in full camouflage, we searched the premises were able to take some pictures of a small colony hiding behind our outhouse. As you can see these squirrels are pure evil.

This is an Al Qaeda trained squirrel that has been infiltrating our forests for years.

Here is a home grown evil squirrel working with other Evil squirrels of the forest.

This was the was the most shocking thing that we saw; a Sith trained squirrel. Sadly more and more good squirrels are defecting to the dark side.

If any of you have had similar experiences please share. We must unite and fight against the forces of evil! And Squirrels.

Part One: Paranormal Squirrels of the Fourth Kind

2009-11-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile but with some coaxing from some friends and family here is a shiny new blog post just for you. So tell your friends. Leave messages and bring me cookies.

Please Enjoy.

My cousin Eric and I are real men! We like to shoot guns, start fires, cut down trees, blow things up, talk about how long we would survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and complain how are teams never win. We talk big, play hard, and enjoy the simple things.

To give you an idea of how we can be together, one year we spent around $500 one year on the 4^thJuly. During that epic day we spent well over 6 hours enjoying ourselves and singeing the hair off of various body parts (as well as my sister favorite blanket. Good thing my Dad saw the fire, because we sure didn’t.)

Because both of us are hard workers and extremely in demand through out the land for our skills, when we have a chance to get together we enjoy ourselves.

Due to being born into the right families we have some property nestled in the Uintah’s. We are set about an acre back from the main dirt road, and have a row a trees sheltering the view giving us a little privacy. There is a nice creek (not to be confused with crick, if you don’t know the difference look up Patrick F. McManus’s definition) that runs right next to the fire pit and the quaint 1960’s single wide trailer that serves as our cabin.

The trailer as one can imagine is not much to look at. All in all it is in good repair. The inside is complete with all the appropriate fixtures, carpeting, sofas and such that were found in the 60’s and makes you feel like you are stepping back 40 years.

My cousin Eric and decided that it was about time to have some male bonding time again, and so we headed up the river to go to the trailer. Once we arrived we immediately got to work starting a fire and cooking our ginormous slabs of meat over the open fire. We are men! What else would we eat other than a leviathan sized piece of meat in the woods?

We enjoyed our dinner and busied our self with feeding the fire anything that would burn or melt. The fire slowly died out after digesting everything from cans, to stumps and we decided to retired to the trailer to get to work on the worlds problems through an intense discussion on an assortment of topics. Just about the time we got talking about the proper way to dispose of man eating zombies we decided it would be best if we rested out minds so we could be fresh for the continuation of this dialogue in the morning.

We stoked the fire emptied our bladders off the porch (another perk of being a man) and proceeded through the other nightly rituals that men go through. You know like a flexing in the mirror and a comparing of scars and what the other guy looked like after we were done with them.

As the testosterone thinned from the air Eric took the back room and I bedded down on the circa 1960’s pull out bed in the living/dining/family room. Not being able sleep I pulled out a trusty book and decided to have a read. (I was reading the book titled The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, which I would suggest to anyone needing a good book to read.)

After reading close to 150 pages (it’s a page turner) my eyes were growing heavy and I decided it was time to get some rest. I threw a few logs on the fire and turned the lights off and burrowed deep in to my sleeping bag and blankets. I quickly started to drift off to sleep, or best that you can on an ancient bed and in a peculiar place.

Normally I do not sleep well in many places other than my own bed, however the combination of eating a smorgasbord of scrumptious bovine and reading longer than I should have, I got knocked out like acid washed jeans.

For those of you that know me, I can be an extremely heavy sleeper at times. When I get in to a deep sleep I become dead to the world. I have slept through sirens, phones ringing, doorbells, my Mom for years, and even our dear, departed dog Sparkey, barking from the top of my bunk bed and vomiting in to my back pack, true story by the way. Sparkey was always very strategic when it came to her bodily fluids and me. But that is a post for another day.

But I digress...

As I was in the middle of this intense, near cavernous sleep I was awoken not by the crisp mountain dawn sneaking through the blinds, but to mysterious sounds in the dark, cold, dank trailer. The fire had gone nearly out and was casting a malevolent orange glow, that casted fiendish shadows on the wall.

I am not one to jump to conclusions about what a noise is or isn’t. I recognize that a good majority of the time I am probably agitating my self more than anything. With this thought in mind I closed my eyes again and tried to sleep once more.

Then I heard it again. Loud, crisp, and clear. Something was outside. And it sounded big.

My pulse quickened. And my senses enhanced. My eyes dilated to seven times their normal size, and I could hear my hair growing. I could feel an evil presence that one can only imagine. I sat up as ancient mans instincts took over and my body and turned on the fight rather than flight mode. I quickly assessed the situation.

It was up to me to protect the nobility of this hallowed family estate. And my sleeping cousin Eric.

I moved to the edge of my bed and pulled on my shoes to get ready for anything. The sounds were coming from a few separate places and this concerned me. For one, I am one man with a sleeping cousin in the back room that has no idea about the predicament that is ahead us. And second, I am unarmed. Eric is the one with the hand cannon. The Gat. The Piece. The Jammy. The Boom Stick. Eric was the one that would yell, “Say hello to my little friend!” Eric was the one that came prepared. And I was the one that left my ‘four four mag’ at home.

The sounds seemed to be getting louder. And I became more concerned. It sounded like the perpetrators were walking across the deck and checking the windows. Then I heard them underneath the trailer. Then floor started to shake. I could feel a surge of adrenaline coarse through my veins.

I knew right then it was them or I.

Stay Tuned For Part II for the Stunning Conclusion of

Paranormal Squirrels of the Fourth Kind

Harry Potter and the Lehi Museum

2009-02-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I haven't really haven't posted in say.......7 months I think that Iwas told. So I apologize. I need to do better.

Any who, I was up at the Lehi Museum last week doing a quick survey of the place so
I could write a paper for my public history class when I came across an interesting specimen in the 'Weird Insects' display. (I'm not quite sure, but I think that is the scientific term.) Any way this was the one that caught my eye. Luckily I had my camera handy.

This is what I saw......

......and this is the what the Tag said it was......

I was all alone at this time and I was completely laughing my head off. This unfortunately was the one of the best parts of the museum. It seemed like they were confused on whether to have a building full of junk, or a museum. All and all though it was worth the $3 to go and walk around.

p.s.
This is what was actually in the jar.

Poetry

2008-07-01T12:50:00.000-06:00

I thought that I would grace you all with a poem.....

Haikus are easy
Sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Uncle Hugh

2008-05-29T14:04:00.000-06:00

For some reason today on my drive down to Orem, I was thinking about the night before my Uncle Hugh got married. What brought this memory on, I have no idea.

For some reason my sister Amy and I (I think anyway) had to share a room with him. This was at my grandparents house in Longmont, Colorado. For those of you that don't know my Grandpa is very handy and had installed sinks and mirror's into most of the rooms. Any way, after falling asleep on the floor, I have a vivid memory of being woken up by a light. I remember rolling over and seeing my Uncle leaning against the sink with his face mere inches away from the mirror. I think he was mumbling something to the effect of "Am I ready...."

After watching this spectacle for what seemed like an hour, I finally fell asleep again.

Random I know....but Funny!

Random Observations....And Apologizes

2008-05-01T15:44:00.000-06:00

I was driving home from school this afternoon and I hit what feels kinda like the halfway point of the trip, The Point of the Mountain. As I left Utah Valley and decented into Salt Lake Valley, I realized that there isn't much of a point or mountain left from all the sand that is being used....hmmmm,should they changed the name to "The place where the Mountain Point Use to Be." What do you, my faithful readers think?

And I am sorry for not writing more. More is on the way!

Dell's Super Envelope

2008-03-29T10:40:00.000-06:00

March 10th, 2008: The Legacy of a Legend

2008-03-21T13:09:00.000-06:00

To preface this story I accidently posted the title without actually writing the story. I received so many comments however, i decided to leave it as an individual post and to chalk it up as 'simple genius'! I hope you enjoy this story. I know I did. And don't worry part 2 is on the way!

Part 1:

I could tell when I awoke on my birthday this year that there were going to be throngs of phone calls, text messages, and small party of well-wishers waiting for me as I walked out the door. I woke up about and got right into studying for my American Lit. exam that was waiting for me that afternoon. As the hours passed, I received no phone calls or texts messages. I will be honest, there was some gnashing of teeth and murmuring that passed from my lips, but lets be honest, it was my birthday! This is the one-day that I actually deserve to get praise for doing absolutely nothing at all. I’ve been doing it (receiving praise) perfectly for 26 Years!

As the hours passed, as I was studying the masters of early American Literature, I received no salutations. No greetings of congratulations or encouragement. My heart was breaking, as I felt more and more alone. (In retrospect it did not help that one of the works I was reading was Walden by Thoreau, which is the story of the authors life for two years as he lived by himself at Walden Pond.)

As I got ready for school, I bathed in my own tears. Tears of rejection and loneliness; of hurt and despair. I clumsily dressed my self, and stumbled out the door with my bag to make the long trek to school. Careful to lock my door to stop any potential thieves, I left my room of dejection. About three steps out of my room I realized that I had left a book I needed. As I turned the knob and I felt with horror that it did not rotate. As I realized the mistake I had made I cursed the heavens with anguish! I had been forgotten by my friends, bathed in my own tears, and now locked out of my place of habitation. What else could go wrong?

I turn on my heal knowing that there is nothing that I can do at this time and I left my apartment in a huff. As I stormed through my apartment I grunted a salutation of farewell to whoever was on the couch and was careful to slam the door vociferously so those all around would know of my suffering. As the windows rattled in their panes, they echoed my personal pain of being forgotten on the one day of the year that was supposed to be mine.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and started to stagger towards school. With shoulders slumped, and a lump in my throat, I wiped the tears from eyes to assume the gazing of my shoes, when I saw a beam of light break from the clouds. I heard a chorus of fire truck sirens sing to me in as I followed the beam of light to ground. I felt like Indian Jones as he discovered the location of the Ark of the Covenant. I took my hat off and wiped my brow of sweat and there, glowing in the sunlight, sat a $20 bill. God had given me a Birthday present!

All of sudden I didn’t care that my friends had betrayed me on my birthday. I didn’t care that I was locked out of my room. I had $20 to do whatever I wanted. The sky was my limit…or at least a $20 limit.

There was a spring in my step as I skipped to school. I small flock of sparrows began to sing my sorrows away as I felt the delightful tingle of money burning in my pocket. As I boarded the shuttle that would transport me to campus, I decided to call a friend to share my magnificent news with. As I made the call, my phone showed that I had full bars, but there was no network. I laughed, as I restarted my phone and I enjoyed the sun on my shoulders that was shining through the windows as well asthe new cash in my pocket. As my phone restarted, I was surprised that in a matter of seconds I received a plethora of text messages and voicemail's from all of my friends. I was happy to find that they were all words of encouragement, mingled with the occasional sympathy for the increase in age.

As I arrived in my class to take my midterm exam, I didn’t have a care in the world. As I proceeded to write out my exam I was able to answer the questions with ease. The words flowed from my pen as water from a garden hose. Before I knew it I had answered all of the questions, and was out the door to enjoy the rest of my day.

As I walked down the hall and exited the school to journey back home, my mind turned to the predicament at hand; being locked out of my room. As the wheels of thought started to turn, I realized I needed to oil up the gears, and shake the dust off my problem solving skills. I came to a few possible ways to break in, right off the bat. Option A, the doorknob I had installed was a little too large for the door. While it was functional, it was, as my father would fondly put, Mickey Mouse. With enough force I felt that I would be able to open the door, and gain admission to my room. Option B, was through my bedroom window. Because of the nice weather I had left my window unlocked, and slightly ajar to let fresh air consume my quarters. The problem with using my window however, was that it approximately 30 feet off the ground.

March 10, 2008

2008-03-17T10:23:00.001-06:00

Which one of these is not like the other

2008-03-12T15:07:00.000-06:00

I can't decide which one would be easier to use.....can ya'll help me?

Cabin Fever

2008-02-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

Taking a page from tasteskindaminty.blogspot.com*, I have decided to write about a childhood memory. Well, on the fringe of my childhood. The Winter of 2000. When I was either 17 0r 18 my friend Henry and I had an opportunity to house and dog sit for my grandma who unfortunately was getting heart surgery. We had now idea what we were in for.

My Grandma lives in the southwest corner of Wyoming in Evanston. For all of you that do not know what Evanston is like.....well your not missing much. Its right on the edge of the prairie so you have a little bigger hills than the majority of what you would see driving across the state. It is pretty in its barren, desolate way i guess, but it is an aquired beauty.

To give one an idea of the economy and what its like there seems to be about three things the city thrives off:
1. Truck Stops and Gas Stations.
2. Fireworks and Liquor Stores (usually connected for optimal safety! and usually thriving with Utards. That way one can get their 'real' booze and explosives all in one stop. I actualy think that there is an 'adult' store some where in the mix of all this too.... )
3. Wal-Mart (yes the evil empire has it strangle hold on this small community. Sad.)

But I digress...

My Grandmas house is in a nice neighborhood on the edge of town, on top of a hill, that overlooks the entire valley the town in nestled in. I'm pretty sure that we arrived at fairly late at night to the usual cold temperatures that engulf Evanston in the winter. We went to sleep fairly quickly and woke up to a blizzard. This was an actual blizzard. White out, windy, drifts and one of the first symptoms of cabin fever.

Henry and I did what any other kids would do in this situation. We raided Grandmas kitchen. Well, actually more of her freezer. The first day we successfully ate pretty much all of the frozen delicatecs that my Grandma had amassed. We instantaneously moved on to scrounging. Looking back we could have cooked something pretty good, but come on, who wants to cook! We also had a cooler full of soda and other random snacks that we devoured in the first day.

You might ask why we didn't just leave the house to venture to one of the gas stations, truck stops, or even to the wal-mart to restock our supplies. But like I said before there was a blizzard and so much snow that we were literally snowed in.

Not knowing anyone in town we were at the mercy of the elements. It did not help that our vehicle selection was as good as a boat in the middle of the Sahara. I was driving a little 2-wheel drive Ford Ranger, my Grandma actually had a boat, an old Mercury, and last but not least we had my Dads BMW. We were there till the snow stopped, whether we liked it or not. Or at least till they plowed the roads, which they never ended up doing...we were stuck for the duration.

As the cabin fever started to set in we started did what any normal teenagers would do. We ate more, watched more TV, ate some more, harassed the dogs. Then repeated. We had brought a couple of movies with us (these were actually VHS, not DVD's which is still better than film strips like my dad had) and as we would finish a movie, because of sheer boredom, we would simply rewind and watch the exact movie over. I'm sure that over the course of this entrapment we watched the same movie easily six or seven times. Isn't the definition of crazy; to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result?

That night the dogs would not go out. We looked and decided that it was most likely because the snow was so deep. How deep we didn't know, we our selves hadn't been out for hours. This made it an easy decision to use the dogs for an experiment to see just how deep it actually was. We tossed the dogs down in to the snow and they immediately disappeared in to the snowy abyss. The most entertaining part of this however was not the throwing, but rather watching the dogs jump out of the snow. They looked like a mix of a dolphin swimming next to a ship, and a gazelle darting from a cheetah! It was amazing how high and fast the dogs made it back inside.

Being the dogs only protectors, we decided that we should make a proper place for the dogs to poop. In retrospect we had so much built up energy from not doing anything that we need to burn off some juice. We ended up making a fortress that would have rivaled anything Calvin and Hobbes could have built. We had seven flying buttresses, three guard towers, a moat, and three snow alligators to keep other dogs out, and our dogs from escaping, unless it was racing over our working draw bridge to attack intruders.

Unfortunately the dogs figured out that the alligators had more bark (or is it hiss?) than bite. As they walked through the moat we could hear them snicker at the gators who ironically were crying big alligator tears. Who knew they actually did that! After exchanging un-plesentaries they quickly spent the rest of their time in unsafe, deep, snow. But dogs will be dogs.

With the dogs enjoying there own place to plop a squat Henry and I, in full snow gear were not ready to go in. We spotted a sizable drift and quickly decided that we needed to to make a snow cave. In matter of minutes we had a nice small cave constructed that was big enough for one person comfortably, or two very uncomfortably. We quickly got bored with taking turns laying in the cave so we decided to make things interesting. We stripped down to our shorts and took turns laying in the snow cave. Did i mention that it was a whopping 20 below zero. Laying around in the snow got very cold quickly, obviously, so we decided to run across the street to hit up the the ginormous hill to try our hand at some late night blizzard sledding.

It was amazing. Gliding down the hill it was exilherating. Especially the snow in my face, and my body screaming protest as the first stages of hypothermia and frostbite set. But non of this mattered. We were being manly men! Who else, other than a man, would strip down to their skivvies, climb into snow caves and go sledding in minus 20 degree weather?

As we stumbled back inside to get warm we realized that having a little cabin fever would make you do some crazy things. I was glad what when I looked over at the dogs and, Henry for that matter, I didn't see two little Cornish Game Hens running around and a large drumstick looking back at me. I am from Colorado after all, I learned about the Donner party. To the dogs, as well as Henry's luck after a good night of rest the sun came out and started to melt the snow as well as well as breaking my fever.

The next day we decided to venture into town for supplies. By supplies, I am referring of course to Wendy's! After feasting on a greasy smorgasboard of fast food goodness, we stopped and got some other necessities such as mountain dew, chips, and corn nuts and headed back up the hill to re-enter our temporary stockade. There was one problem however. My tiny truck could not make it up the 'little hill' to Grandmas house. Snow+bad tires+plus a 2 wheel drive truck=going no where with any sort of incline. Luckily a friendly neighbor was coming home from the corner liquor store and offered us a ride just as we started our trek up the hill.

After one more night of overcoming the symptoms of cabin fever we were able to escape to the highway to spend a day skiing in Park City. This turned out to be the proper therapy that we needed and we overcame the fever and both of us have been in remision for the past 8 years.

I suggest to any one who has a chance of catching the fever to be prepared. Bring a few small house dogs, lots of junk food, movies, and a 4 wheel drive. It keeps this deadly itis from infecting you, as well as helping you beat any symptoms you may get from full blown Cabin Fever.

*thats dinner, right Dad?

Frenchies part Deux

2008-02-11T16:39:00.000-07:00

After showing my roommate my last post about the inteligence of the French, my roommate Dan, gave me a quote of a fellow American who has the same sentiment as I do about our French comrades.

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in french, I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
-Mark Twain

If anyone else has come across any other quotes I would love to hear them!

Proof That Frenchies are the Dumbest People Alive

2008-02-08T10:07:00.001-07:00

I, like my brother-in-law, (author of theotherdrummer.com as well as livsimpl.com)* share a strong distaste for Frenchies. I could write a list to why I don't like them, but I don't have enough time as well as space on this blog to do so. I thought instead that I would but a video that pretty much says it all!

This is a video from the French version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. The best part about this video is that it shows the collective stupidity of all the audience, who when polled answered the question the wrong.

So with out further delay I present a stupid French guy!

*David that plug just cost you buying me dinner!

Been Awhile...

2008-02-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

So it has been a couple of days since my last post so I thought that I would write something realy quick!

First off, The NY Giant are the Super Bowl Champs! They beat the highly favored New England Patriots who were, up to the super bowl, undefeated. Eli Manning showed his resiliency and brought home the championship! One of the best parts about Eli wining is that it comes just one year after his brother won the Super Bowl for the Colts....I love Football!!

Secondly, The commercials were sub-par. I was very disappointed I have to say. I think that this was one of the the worst years for ads that I can remember! Which is to bad for all the companies that had ads since this was the biggset crowd ever to watch a Super Bowl.

Third, although I should have learned from past experiences, if you eat something that burns going in, its gonna burn coming out. Especially if you eat it on an empty stomach....'nugh said!

Fourth, Girls are like a rubiks cube. Only a few people can actually figure them out. A lot of times you might have one side figured out, but it usually gets messed up when you work on another side.

Fifth, Frank Sintra is still the man and the new Foo Fighters CD is good.

I think that is about it for now. I have a few other ideas knocking around that I will hopefully get on paper soon enough!

Turn into your skid......Or be really lucky!

2008-02-04T00:06:00.000-07:00

As I was meandering through digg.com tonight I came across this video of a high speed chase. I have to say this is some pretty amazing driving. Makes me kinda want to try my hand at eluding officers! OK, not really....but you can imagine right? Anywho, I thought that this would be even better with the Benny Hill song playing over it....but I don't know how to do that, so imagine!

Running Makes You Not Fat

2008-02-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

I have recently decided to not be fat anymore and to take up running. I ran three days this week and was planning on taking Friday off, and then running again today (Saturday). I was busy for the better part of the morning and early afternoon and thought around 3:00 pm would be a good time to go. Apparently I was wrong.

I have been running at the School because the facilities are nice, free, and are usually not full of meatheads looking for a mate, or plastic girls showing off there recently augmented plastic parts ( this is, by the way, an exaggerated stereotype, although David may fit in the meathead department! :) ). I arrived at the school to find that all the doors to work out rooms are locked up tight. With no one in sight to let me sneak in I settle for plan B: The tiny work out room in our apartment complex. As I walk in, I am meet first with a blast of 85 degree air that smells like a mix of an old bowling ally, my left foot, and the bathroom after my Dad has had a large meal. There were two other guys working out that I assume were the main contributers of this robust aroma.

Reminding myself that not being fat is the ultimate goal, I put my shoes on and settled unto a treadmill to start my warm up. As I walked, getting lose to prepare for my long journey to no where, I looked in the mirror that covers the entire wall in front of me and see that my head is coming a little to close to the celling. If you happened to read my last post you will learn that I am not tall at all, or as my Dad says, I'm 'above average'. I decide to switch to the next treadmill over to warm up and run. After a brisk 5 minute, 3 mph warm up walk I bump the speed up to a whooping 6.5 mph. Feeling confident with the speed I take about 3 strides when the machine shuts off. Apparently this treadmill doesn't like to have people run on it. I try again hoping that it was just being irascible. Turns out that it is really just a big piece of rubbish that has does not work properly worked. (did I just say rubbish?)

I promptly switch back to the original treadmill, get it up to speed, and find that it makes a horrible creaking....or breaking...or just one of those bad sounds that you know isn't right. But I push on knowing that running will make me not fat. After the first couple minutes my mind finally is puts at ease that I will not hit my head on the celling. Then something exciting happens. I know you are wonder what possibly could be exciting on a treadmill in and room that is 85 degrees and smells like an old bowling ally, my left foot, and the bathroom after my Dad has had a large meal. Well I will tell you! The tread decided to stop spinning randomly until it felt the pressure of my foot hitting it. I don't know if any of you have actually experienced it but I have found it similar (in a very loose way) to slipping on ice when you try to run on it catching patches of snow that kinda act like traction. It actually doesn't give justice to what it is really like but that is the only thing that comes to mind.

I am known to be clumsy. Especially when I am trying to impress a girl, or need to do something important. I have never had a real problem being clumsy before on a treadmill before, so I was caught completely off guard when I tripped. Luckily I caught my self on the nifty safety bars. (This is another time when my lower center of gravity has come into handy.) I at least wanted to run a mile and was little over half way done when the first trip occurred. I stuck it out and actually ran a pretty good mile time of about 12:00 minutes. Which is fairly good considering I haven't ran that much in the past year.

I contemplated running for another 20 minutes or so outside but quickly put that thought out of my mind because the second I stepped out side I saw steam rise from my face and shirt. On my way home my hair started to freeze so I am sure I made the right decision. Anywho that was my late afternoon. Pretty lame, but you are reading this, so I guess that its not that bad!

Genes and Jeans

2008-01-31T13:02:00.001-07:00

I have noticed a couple things. First, I am short. Second, my jeans are always wet at the bottoms whenever it snows or rains. Now I know that you are thinking. You think I should just buy shorter jeans, but that is where the genes come in. Because of my genes I am in between sizes. Either I get short high-waters, or just a little to long.

My Father is 6'4. My Mother is 5'4. Sorry to say, but those were never very good odds for me. Unfortunately for me, my older sister got the tall genes at a whopping 6 foot she has always towered over me even as a child. My younger sister is also tall for a lot of girls and claims to have passed me in height. My parents have reassured me that she is still shorter but I swear she looks me square in the eye.

I am openly blaming my parents for my height retardation. Mainly my Dad. He knowingly married and bred with a short woman....and Mom, you let him! My sister Amy, openly dislikes guys like my Dad who dated and married girls a full foot shorter. This leaves the tall girls waiting for a taller guy to realize that they can date someone who is taller than average.

Now Dad didn't you think of your unborn son and his perpetually wet jeans when you were courting my Mom?! Forget love, and eternity! I'm talking about always having to take my pants off when I come home from school so I don't get the carpet and socks wet and dirty.

OK, its not really that bad of a thing that I was made short (even though I really take my pants off when I come home if it has snowed or rained). Some good has come from it. For instance I have an awesome family, and being born is a pretty good deal in itself. I will most likely have giant children of my own. I'm guessing that I will have kids taller me by the time they are hit their mid-teens. Another plus, I'm taller than my mom. It made me feel good, and helped with my self esteem when I finally passed her in height during my senior year of high school.

I also have a lower center of gravity. Which has come in handy for things like skiing and mountain biking. I have yet to do half of the amazing mountain bike gymnastic dismounts that my Dad has done. I have rarely if ever hit my head form being to tall. That usually happens from stupidity. And I'm almost always short enough to fit under ever shower head I have encountered.

So all in all being short is not that bad. The real down fall is that because of my genes I always have wet jeans.

Dramatic Chipmunk

2008-01-30T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'm all for random viral videos that can be found on YouTube. One the shortest....yet funniest is the Dramatic Chipmunk.

Here it is:

Then I came across this one as well....Which is just as good. Its amazing what a little sound will do for clip that otherwise wouldn't be all that funny.

Enjoy!

Snow Idiocy...

2008-01-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

First off I would just like to say that for some of you that listen to modern music, the description of this blog is the name of a Collective Soul Album. If I remember correctly it was one of my first albums. I think that it will do a good job of describing the things that I will be writing about.

Now on to todays blog...

I have noticed that there are a few things that need to change when it comes to snow. First and for most the way that most people here in Utah drive in it. No if I were a betting man, I would have bet, before i moved here, people would be generally good at driving in snow. I mean this is the home of the 2002 WINTER Olympics. The license plates boast "The Greatest Snow on Earth." If you have ever watched a Warren Miller movie than you would know that some of the worlds greatest shots have come from Utah. Aparently all bets are off.

Why is it that people turn into complete numbskull's when there is a little snow on the road? I can understand if you are from somewhere like Florida and this is the first time that you have ever seen the stuff, but for all of you Utards that just turn on the stupid switch whats the deal?

To give an example of this stupidity (there are many that I could choose from) I will start with a simple one. This one takes place on the interstate. I'm not trying to be stereotypical or sexist put it usually involves a teenage girl going about 80 mphs, weaving in and out of traffic, while talking on a cell phone. Apparently the freshly fallen snow is a candy coating to the road that helps you go really fast! I always cringe and tense up when I see one of these plastic girls driving their plastic rice rockets oblivious to the world. The same applies to those that drive a big SUV or truck, that think they are magically not going to spin out of control or stop because the have four wheel drive. Plain and simple snow idiocy.

Another example happened the other day as I was turning in to my apartment. I pulled in to the middle lane and was waiting for a gap in the steady stream of traffic to make my cross. There where a lot of cars and I had been waiting a couple of minutes. Normally I would have been very irritated, but i have learned to be patient in the snow. Then out of no where this lady in a minivan stops the entire lane of traffic. She seriously slammed on the brakes and waved me across. I'm all for being a good Samaritan, but this was just plain stupid. It is not like all of a sudden the laws of driving change, and you have to give up your right away. Luckily everyone behind her was able to stop.

My sister and brother-in-law are assistants to the manager at the apartment complex they live at. There basic duties include garbage removal, keeping the grounds clean, and clearing snow from sidewalks when appropriate. I'm assuming that an appropriate time to remove snow is AFTER it snows. I know that I am going out on a limb here with this guess since I myself have never been an Apartment Manager. I'm assuming that the Managers at my apartment complex never got the memo about snow removal from the Apartment Managing School. I have lived at the same place for almost two years and they have never shoveled snow. There idea of snow removal is spreading a 20 pound bag across the entire complex and hoping that the sun gets the rest. To bad the sun never shines on ANY of the sidewalks. This is another one of those "Hello!! You are in UTAH!!" type of things that you shouldn't have to worry about

I could go on with a few more examples of snow idiocy, but I think that ya'll get the idea.

If any of you readers out there have any examples, I would love to hear them.

whats this?

2008-01-29T14:37:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here at my second favorite table in the library and thought i would check out my amazing blog....then I realized I didn't even remember what the address was. I ended up going on to my Dads sit, Tastes Kinda Minty, for the link.

Any who, I was sitting here contemplating a riveting chapter in my Modern Historiography book and I thought that i would tear my self away to blog a bit.

Not quite sure what about yet, so please bear with me! First off I figure that I will first update the World Wide Web, or about the the three people that will read this about my life. Ready this is going to be some exciting stuff....I'm a student. I spend a few hours a day at school everyday. I'm taking 15 credit hours so I stay busy. After classes I usually eat lunch, then go back to the Library and read till my eyes fall out (as one of my Professors would say). Yup that is basically my life. I wish that it was more exciting!

Well my last adventure (if you can call it that) I partook was last night which was a Monday. A water main broke on campus. Around 4:30 we were sent an email to our school account that stated the following:

Campus physical plant has informed us that the campus has had a major break in a water line on the north side of campus. To protect our power source, they are closing down power in parts of the campus. We are assessing the situation and will notify people soon about the impact of the power outage.

My once a week, three hour, Monday night class was canceled. Now I am like any other college student, happy to have a break from class, but the problem is with MLK Day last Monday we have only had class twice before. To top it off I think that we are scheduled for a test this week. Not really sure whats going on with it now!

So instead of class I decided to go to the UVU Girls Basketball. But because of the power outage the game which was scheduled to be played at the McKay Event Center had to be moved and delayed. The Game was moved to a Timp High School. Kinda sad. I think that there are more people at a high school Girls Game! Well the Lady Wolverines ended up playing Chicago State University. (CSU, which has the same colors as the real CSU, Colorado State. Just some party trivia for ya.)

The Lady's, like usual dominated. At the end of the first half they are up by at least 20. At the start of the second half they scored a quick 9 unanswered points and CSU is forced to call a timeout with only 48 seconds into the half. Then all of a sudden I swear I was watching the Jazz play. All of sudden the lead was only down to about 10. Then 3. Then CSU was up by two. With 1.1 Seconds left CSU fouled the girl that you wouldn't want to foul, the star point guard! With the fouls in bonus all she had to do was sink two free throws and the game would go into over time. Unfortunately clutch shooting apparently is not her forte, she missed the shot and we lost the game. I guess some good did come from this game however. I won a free T-Shirt!

Well I am going to try and get into the habit of Blogging. I know this one post is pretty lame but I am confident that they will get much much better! Thanks for Reading.

Nature

2007-07-15T18:54:00.000-06:00

Nature has displayed its awesome force in many ways. Here are a couple of pictures that I have come across in the past couple of days that I fell convey this message. Enjoy!

fire?

2007-06-30T20:44:00.001-06:00

So maybe i only have a desire to right when I see or hear something outrageous since the last time that i wrote was several months ago. For instance, i just walked in the door to my apartment from a lovely summer bbq to having the fire alarm going off in the entire apartment complex. Wow.
Not only have the fire alarm companies picked the loudest, most obnoxious pitch and volume, (my ears have just started to bleed), they have forgotten to connect the alarm to the fire station.
Its been about 10 minutes since it first went off with no sign of the fire department. I understand that it will take a minute, or maybe 5, for a response time, but honestly there is station a mere mile a while. So two things i would like to ask in this rant. One if there was a real fire, would i be burned, and b, when will the bleeding stop.

Mormon Country

2007-02-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

You know that you are in Mormon country when you are in Salt Lake City at the state capitol listening to the state legislature and a guy gets up and says "there is a family in my ward..." Wow.

shootin and diggin

2007-01-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

I have decided that there are few things in life that give me as much satisfaction and fun as shooting high powered assault rifles and hand guns while diggin' in my Pathfinder. Lets be honest here, when you squeeze of 20 .223 rounds off as fast as you can on an AR-15 and a Mini 14 it is as if testosterone is ruling your own personal world. I get the same feeling when I dig through some icy mud in 4-low and feel like I'm going to get stuck but some how bounce out like a kangaroo in the outback. This was how I spent my Saturday. The poetic ending to this afternoon ended up being when I had to pull my buddy out of about two feet of ice, water and mud. It was good times. Yes sir.

My Letter to Santa Clause

2006-12-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

12-24-06
Dear Santa,
I'm sorry to say that global warming might kill you in the next 5 to 6 years....Thats what Mr. Al Gore told me in "An Inconvient Truth." Since that is the inconvient truth I am going to need my presents ASAP. This year I would like A 2008 BMW M3 with all the options and a 42" HD plasma screen tv. I still have not recieved the midget that I have asked for on multiple Christmas's before so how bout hopin' on that before you melt away into the soon to be warm waters of the North pole.
Expecting you arrival soon,
Bradford